Meeting Arbe

Meeting Mekdes’ mother

Today was the day for all the adoptive families to meet their child’s birth family.  We had been told that Mekdes’ mother, Arbe, would not be able to make the trip as it happened to be on a major Muslim holiday and travel would be difficult.  Shawn and I decided that perhaps this was best as a meeting with Arbe may be confusing for Mekdes and difficult for her to comprehend.  It may also have interrupted our bonding process.  So, we went to Hannah’s Hope to play with the children and for Mekdes to spend time with her friends.  When we got to Hannah’s Hope we were told Mekdes’ mother DID come and she was there.  To say our heads were spinning would be an understatement!!!  Arbe was in one of the offices waiting with an interpreter and we were outside playing with the kids.  Our meeting wasn’t until 11:00am, so we were really waiting for the director to come and get us to begin the  process.  In the meantime, Mekdes found her mother and went into the office with her.  What should we do?  Do we go get her?  My heart wanted to immediately grab her and keep her by my side, but there was something inside me that said to let it play itself out.  Mekdes would come to the window to look at us outside and we would wave and blow kisses, but my heart was aching!  Soon Almaz, the director, found us and thanked us for being so understanding.  She said she would ask all the questions and all we would have to do is be there.  Well, Shawn and I went into the office and set up the video camera, so Mekdes would have this moment if she ever becomes curious about her birth mother.  Two beautiful women entered the room, one with a green scarf wrapped around her shoulders and one with a sunshine yellow scarf.  The woman in the green was the interpreter and the woman in the yellow was Arbe, her mother.  Immediately when she saw us she began to cry.  I was trying the biting my cheek trick, but it wasn’t working and I, too, began to cry.  Mekdes was sitting on Almaz’s lap and seemed to be oblivious to our silent tears.  I think that Mekdes spending time with her mother earlier in some ways prepared her for this moment.  She didn’t seem very attentive to her mother at all and acted as if this was all perfectly normal. Almaz asked some very basic questions about Mekdes’ background and soon we neared the end of the interview.  Arbe told us she was crying tears of joy because she knew we were providing Mekdes with a better life and that her faith in God tells her she will do wonderful things in America with Shawn and me as her parents.  Well, that pushed me from a silent cry to a full on ugly cry!!!!  We hugged and thanked her and promised her Mekdes would be loved and well cared for.  She clung to Shawn and kissed him from cheek to cheek over a dozen times (3 is customary in Ethiopia).  It was such a powerful moment, one we will never forget!  What a stong, beautiful and courageous woman Mekdes has for a birth mother and I am so honored that Shawn and I were able to meet her and let her know how much we love Mekdes and love her as well!